tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3675010776169879712020-03-16T02:52:04.701-04:00Slice Harvester Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.comBlogger393125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-20636344710800691532016-01-29T02:27:00.003-05:002016-01-29T12:09:34.717-05:00SO LONG I'M MOVIN ON. <a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cloe5XiKR-8/VqsTyVhOeII/AAAAAAAAAo0/hYP6C_bnlIU/s1600/95230032.JPG" imageanchor="1"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-cloe5XiKR-8/VqsTyVhOeII/AAAAAAAAAo0/hYP6C_bnlIU/s640/95230032.JPG" /></a><br />HI! I think it's time to retire this website. As you can see, it's still here, on the internet, where it will stay at a relatively low annual cost to me as long as Father Time and the New Year Baby are still doing Diaper Play.<br /><br />I've migrated all the blog posts that happened since the last pizza review over to my new site <a href="http://www.colinhagendorf.com/">www.colinhagendorf.com</a>&nbsp;where I will continue to post my Maximum columns and whatever other junk on the blog. I won't be updating this one any more.<br /><br />Below you'll find information on how you can buy copies of my fanzines and then it's basically nothing but pizza reviews. I figure this will probably make it easier for everyone.<br /><br />OKAY BYE THANKS ALSO&nbsp;<a href="http://books.simonandschuster.com/Slice-Harvester/Colin-Atrophy-Hagendorf/9781476705880" target="_blank">BUY MY BOOK PLEASE</a>&nbsp;OKAY THANKS BYE!Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-45955453695194399432016-01-29T02:23:00.001-05:002019-08-18T15:10:00.191-04:00BUY ZINES! <div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><b>ZINES ARE SOLD OUT FOREVER SORRY YOU MISSED IT IF YOU LIKE MY WRITING YOU CAN CHECK OUT MY NEW THING <i><a href="http://www.colinhagendorf.com/newsletter">LIFE HARVESTER</a></i>&nbsp;WHERE I REVIEW STUFF BESIDES PIZZA.</b></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AuZC_pIACJw/XVBVIZGB4WI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/NVcaU3wix0I0KtKbVNO5X_SVENDokj06QCLcBGAs/s1600/IMG_4465.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" data-original-height="1200" data-original-width="1600" height="300" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-AuZC_pIACJw/XVBVIZGB4WI/AAAAAAAAAIQ/NVcaU3wix0I0KtKbVNO5X_SVENDokj06QCLcBGAs/s400/IMG_4465.jpeg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Buy things from me! Cheesecake ingredients don't pay for themselves.</div></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">PayPal button at the bottom of the page or if you're hella old fashioned you can send well concealed cash to:</div></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">Life Harvester</div><div style="text-align: left;">P.O. Box 82551</div><div style="text-align: left;">Pittsburgh, PA 15218</div></div></div><div style="text-align: left;"><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">A full set of Slice Harvesters (all 7 issues!) is $20 + $3.00 shipping. Quite a deal if you ask me, but I'm biased. ADDITIONALLY! I've implemented a sliding scale to accommodate people of different means, inspired most immediately by my friend <a href="https://www.etsy.com/shop/PotterybyOsa" target="_blank">Osa</a>, who was selling her pottery at <a href="http://www.wdsu.com/news/local-news/new-orleans/popup-store-aims-to-highlight-gender-wage-gap-in-the-us/36400680" target="_blank">a store in New Orleans</a> that prices according to the wage gap. When I watched that video I was super into it and remembered something similar happening in the past, though I couldn't remember what I was thinking of till Osa reminded me that <a href="http://www.mladysrecords.com/" target="_blank">M'Lady's Records</a> have done this before.</div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><div style="text-align: left;">ANYWAY, here I am doing it now, because it's the right thing to do. Simply select from the options menu below and you will be charged accordingly. You can obviously scam this pretty easily, but I'm assuming good faith on the part of the Slice Harvester readership.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">This button is for US orders only. For international orders, please <a href="mailto:sliceharvester@gmail.com"><u><span style="color: blue;">email me</span></u></a>&nbsp;with the subject "INTERNATIONAL ORDER" &nbsp;(clever, I know) and I'll sort you out.<br /><br /></div></div></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3qO-sgR3NeI/TKsvZd-6xAI/AAAAAAAAAI0/n4eWF4dqkjQ/s200/slice_harvester_lg.jpg" /><img height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_f_fLQv4zOE/TGBgbSQ2xbI/AAAAAAAAAHw/9YIJpdtpKbY/s200/30613_402506572426_248960092426_4132038_6982522_n.jpg" /><img height="200" src="https://4.bp.blogspot.com/-H8FdMpN9Vz8/TKsve3EZb-I/AAAAAAAAAI4/On9WPkF9Q2o/s200/SHQ3%2BCover.png" /><img height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-hY2-jgRankw/TZJRFE_2A9I/AAAAAAAAAKs/W6JCsMi6ooc/s200/4%2Bcover.jpg" /><img height="200" src="https://1.bp.blogspot.com/-WixTv5d62Xo/TkA9o5F0DYI/AAAAAAAAALE/ralHj1mv_eE/s200/issue%2B5%2Bcover.jpg" /><img height="200" src="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-DCvqDTRJU-c/UBvr1hH_5QI/AAAAAAAAAOQ/GBQ0BdHLp7A/s200/issue%2B6.jpg" /><img height="200" src="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-_2vkzPpG_w8/UR-cVQGdbxI/AAAAAAAAAQQ/xnQmwj2MX60/s200/issue%2B7.jpg" /></div><div><br /></div>Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-11876663066410400572011-11-29T13:05:00.001-05:002011-11-30T14:47:45.140-05:00Da Vinci Pizza: "And now the end is here, and so I face the final curtain..." So this is it. I don't even know where to begin. Let me just say, that though this is the Last Official Manhattan Pizzeria Review, it will not be the last post on Slice Harvester. I still have plenty of recapping and decision-making to do, and plus I want to keep this thing going at least until the last zine comes out in February so there's that, too. Anyway, I might as well just start this thing. You should probably open up <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_bTdLi0YUVM">this link</a> in a new tab and listen to that Green Day prom song while you read this review.<br /><br />I met Christina Sparhawk a little less than two years ago, just shy of six months from starting this project. I was lonely and sad and needed someone to <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2MbxH3HIVas">share my heart like the last slice</a> so I went to a Witch-Matchmaker and she set us up. When we first met, Christina handed me a piece of paper with a phone number on it and said, "if you're in a bad mood, call this number and ask for Manoff. Take it out on him." I didn't know her too well at the time and thought maybe she was a dominatrix or something and he was one of her johns and this was part of their thing. Turns out she was working as a hostess at a Burger Restaurant and this guy Manoff had been consistently stiffing her delivery guy on tips and just generally being a dick on the phone and she felt he needed some vengeance. At this point, I knew I was in love.<br /><br />It's easy to write about smashing the state or how much I hate bro-dog frat culture masculinity or offing pigs or whatever, but how do you write about being in love in a way that doesn't suck? Do I rhapsodize about my girlfriend's beauty? (She is the most beautiful woman in the world.) Do I talk about how awesome and tough she is? (The other day some dude in a suit winked at her on the sidewalk and she punched him.) Do we discuss how talented and creative she is? (At everything.) Do I mention the ways we care for each other? (I honestly think she saved my life.) I don't know. This stuff is harder to talk about than all the hard stuff I talk about.<br /><br />So I'll leave it to the poets. Go ask Yeats or Richard Brautigan what it's like to be in love, because all I can tell you is that I am honestly happy for the first time in my life and I can attribute a huge portion of that happiness to the truth of caring and being cared for. The fact is that we live in such a Sick Fucking Society that the simple act of honestly loving and being loved is transcendent and radical. Like I said last week, people are so alienated from themselves, from their own emotions and from each other that forging genuine human connections is NOT the go to means of interacting.<br /><br />The other day I was talking to my friend Jamel who panhandles outside the supermarket in my neighborhood. In the summer we eat King Kones and talk about vampires because we both love vampires, but there was something in the air on that humid, too-warm Autumn evening, standing on the street watching the sun set, and we got to talking about life. Jamel told me, "the other day, I saw a guy drop a $100 bill. I picked it up and handed it back to him and you know what? He didn't give me shit." I scowled. "And you know what else, Colin? I don't care. Maybe he just got paid, maybe he had to spend the whole hundred on Thanksgiving dinner for his family or Christmas gifts for his kids. For a few minutes I thought that maybe he only had the $100 and he was would come back and give me something after he made change, but he never did." I was shaking my head pretty vigorously at this point, rolling us cigarettes. "And I still don't regret giving him that money back, although I could obviously use a hundred dollars. Because I did the right thing, and if more people did the right thing more of the time, instead of doing the easy thing, or the selfish thing, the world would be in a lot less trouble than it is today." He asked me if Christina, whom he had met the week before, was my girlfriend, and when I told him she was he said, "you better make sure to hold on to her. She's a keeper."<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7162/6431611757_883dba51e1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7162/6431611757_883dba51e1.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />So me and Christina ate at <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=da+vinci+pizza+restaurant&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=da+vinci+pizza+restaurant&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=0,0,698985216769113533&amp;ei=G2PWToSjOubz0gGKj-2dAw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=image&amp;ved=0CCAQ_BI">Da Vinci Pizza</a> last week, for my final review. As we first approached, my heart seized up because I mistook Da Vinci for <a href="http://kaanla.com/2011/11/pranzo-pizza-swing-and-miss.html">Pranzo Pizza</a>, where I had eaten the prior week with awesome newspaperman <a href="http://twitter.com/#%21/aaronrutkoff">Aaron Rutkoff</a>. And I thought for a second that maybe I had fucked everything up and hadn't done my research and Da Vinci had closed and my girlfriend was gonna hate me and everything was fucked and oh my god oh my god oh my god. Well, I was wrong. The fronts of Da Vinci and Pranzo may look similar but their interiors and their pizza are worlds apart.<br /><br />This place looked and felt like a real pizzeria (check out Rob Bennet's photos accompanying the <a href="http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052970203935604577064641987645430.html">WSJ article about me</a> [what?!] for evidence). And the pizza here, unlike the pizza at Pranzo, was real delicious pizza.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7012/6431621361_61a88353e9.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm8.staticflickr.com/7012/6431621361_61a88353e9.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />I was a little bit turned off by the fact that this slice of pizza was sitting on a piece of aluminum foil. But I am open minded, right? And it looked and smelled good. I lifted the slice, and it drooped a little more than is ideal, but I still had a good feeling. And I wasn't wrong! This slice had delicious ingredients. The cheese tasted great, the sauce was on the sweeter side, but didn't taste synthetic and was totally delicious. The dough was expertly made, though perhaps not cooked as much as I would have liked, and the whole slice had GREAT ratios.<br /><br />Tina said, "it's got that youth fair taste that I like," and called it "carnival pizza." Now, I wouldn't necessarily disagree with this assessment with a small distinction. Traditionally I have discussed a disgusting type of pizza I love, which I've always called "roller rink pizza" because it reminds me of this pizza I ate at this roller rink in Queens at my parents' best friends' kid's birthday party when I was like, 8 that for some reason I remember really vividly. That sort of pizza is objectively bad, but I admit to loving it anyway. This slice, while superficially similar to this sort of pizza, is neither disgusting, nor objectively bad. I think the similarities lie in a certain amount of fluffiness in the cheese and the dough. But this dough was soft and supple without being rubbery, and the cheese, while bountiful, was not over whelming.<br /><br />All told, this slice was totally satisfying, although not mind-blowing. But it was good, and I am happy to end on a positive note. I wouldn't go out of my way for this slice, but I stand behind it. I will eat here next time I am planning on spending an afternoon reading a book and riding the ferry back and forth. As we finished eating Christina let out a huge belch, smiled and said, "that was a burp of satisfaction."<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><br /><br />Da Vinci Pizza - $2.50<br />44 Water St (Hanover Sq &amp; Cointies Slip)<br />New York, NY 10004Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com16tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-46746417443404686982011-11-23T12:08:00.001-05:002011-11-23T15:11:44.586-05:00Pranzo Pizza: "Swing and a miss." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6224/6389950303_476afb8e54.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6224/6389950303_476afb8e54.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;hs=DCH&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;gs_upl=6542l7444l0l8366l6l5l0l0l0l0l1002l1002l7-1l1l0&amp;bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.,cf.osb&amp;biw=1138&amp;bih=600&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=pranzo+pizza&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=pranzo+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=0,0,16522556171182114443&amp;ei=QybNTouOJ4fFsQK336SDDw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=image&amp;ved=0CB8Q_BI">Pranzo Pizza</a> is a nice little place. When I got there, they were in the midst of their Wall Street Automoton Lunch Rush Spectacular and it reminded me of my life a few years ago. When I was in my early 20s and first making my decision to No Retreat/No Surrender/No Gods/No Masters the square world and never work in an office in my life, I would sometimes have moments of doubt, sitting in my dingy apartment eating dumpstered bagels for the third day in a row because I didn't know where to dumpster any good produce yet and I refused to work more than four or five days a month because, well, because CrimethINC. And when I had those doubts, I had a simple solution: I'd go to Grand Central Station at 4:30 or so, and sit on a bench there until 6:30 or so, and watch dudes in suits that cost four times my rent frantically run to catch trains and it would make me feel better about my own decision, because I could position myself in a position of superiority to those clowns. The frantic hustle of the Pranzo lunch rush brought back memories of dudes with briefcases hauling ass down marble corridors to get home to Briarcliff Manor or wherever.<br /><br />But don't worry! I'm a grownup now, and I have a much more nuanced perspective on the world. My friend Kimya Dawson, who has been a Slice Harvester supporter since, literally, day one, has <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EP_aIs0v4Qs">a song</a> on <a href="http://zerofriends.com/store/index.php?main_page=product_info&amp;cPath=82&amp;products_id=619">her new record</a> where she articulates this sentiment quite succinctly: "Just because someone does not look like me / doesn't mean they are a clone or a sheep. / Maybe they like their job and they're living their dream,&nbsp; / and they love their friends and their family. / Some people thrive between nine and five,&nbsp; / and feel like they're choking if their neck's not tied. / .... / Some people feel enslaved when they have a boss, / some people without one feel totally lost."<br /><br />I think one huge drawback to the Culture of Opposition that is so compelling to so many alienated teenagers is that we feel turned away and excluded from the culture at large and so try and create our own culture that ends up parroting the lack of inclusivity and dogma of the culture we are fighting against. At this point in my life, I have friends that work in offices and friends that are working artists, friends that are FDNY and friends that are itinerant farm workers. Some of the people that work in offices are kinder, gentler, more compassionate people than some of the artists! Shit, I don't even hate ALL COPS anymore! Like, capitalism as it exists in the West today is incredibly alienating, and I've felt alienated by the priorities and values of our culture since as long as I can remember. I feel like it robs us of our personhood and asks us to dehumanize each other and that is what I'm fighting against. But in fighting so hard against a culture that wanted to dehumanize me and wanted me to dehumanize other people, I ended up losing sight of the humanity of over half the population! Like, honestly, on 9/11 I felt a mixture of grief and triumph. Real talk. And I am still processing about that. But those towers were a symbol of a culture I despised and I would be lying if I said part of me didn't feel a sense of glib satisfaction that some of the wind had been taken out of the American Empire's sails. I thought, perhaps naively, that the experience, though terribly tragic, might at least teach us some collective humility.<br /><br />But even though I felt that way, when I went to a Leftover Crack show a few weeks later and Sturgeon was making jokes about the people that died, I was appalled. Because whoever those people were, whatever heinous shit they might have been up to, their deaths are a tragedy. Murder is never something to celebrate. We are fighting against people that celebrate death, and part of the struggle is not to become them. (At heart, our battle is like that Tales from Earthsea anime movie, but without dragons.) And then the war started, and people started shit-talking all soldiers. And I thought about my friends growing up who had enlisted in like, '98 or '99 as a way to go to college hopefully, or to get out of their neighborhoods, and how it looked like there was no chance of a war ever again. And suddenly they would come home on leave and just sit at the bar slamming shots and not talking, biding their time until they could get back to war, because they had become so unaccustomed to civilian life, and I didn't want to say "fuck all soldiers" because I wanted to help my friends and the people like them.<br /><br />I will wrap up all this shortly, but let me just say clearly, I am not espousing some totally unrealistic hippy dippy doctrine of Loving Everybody. I am not telling protestors to humanize cops who are beating them up. If a cop is shooting tear gas at you, smash his fucking face in with a fire extinguisher if that's what you need to do. Seriously. But I also know and have known some really decent cops (none of whom are NYPD, unless you count Benson and Stabler, but I don't technically KNOW them even if it feels like I do), who are generally interested in harm reduction and maintaining people's comfort and safety. I think the point I'm making will sort of be lost on most of my non-punk readers because perhaps they don't automatically hate cops. I guess all I'm really saying is that people are people and some people do shitty stuff and are still good people and some people are shitty people but they do good stuff. I don't know, this isn't even about pizza anymore and I feel like I've probably alienated half my readership. Ce la vie. I just want to have a dialogue.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6216/6389953279_7616599f88.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6216/6389953279_7616599f88.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />This slice was a bummer and a disappointment. The ingredients were decent enough quality, but the construction and preparation of the slice seemed so hasty it was all lost. The middle of the slice had like, a sinkhole in it that just drooped and fell out from under me when I picked it up and folded it. And the slice was already too thin to begin with. I couldn't really make out any sauce flavor, which isn't necessarily a bad thing, because it was weighed down with so much cheese. And the cheese didn't taste bad, in didn't taste like anything in fact, but there was too much of it. If there had been less cheese and the same amount or slightly more sauce, the sauce could've provided the flavor the cheese lacked. And if the crust had been prepared properly and didn't fall to shreds when I lifted it, there might have been a sound foundation up which to rest a decent slice. To top all of it off, this slice was thrown in the oven and removed so quickly, the crust never even browned. Nothing on this slice crunched. And the whole pizza parlor smelled like butter. Ultimately though, while this slice had flaws, it wasn't inedible and was certainly passable. In an ideal world, this slice would be the worst pizza gets, but in the world we live in, it probably falls dead center on the Spectrum of Pizza Awesomeness.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><br /><br /><br />Pranzo Pizza - $2.30<br />34 Water St (Coenties Slip &amp; Broad St)<br />New York, NY 10004Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com10tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-25757395454224385012011-11-16T11:47:00.001-05:002011-11-16T12:13:07.457-05:00Big Al's Chicago Style Pizza: "Almost didn't make the cut." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6221/6350910028_2a4296888d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6221/6350910028_2a4296888d.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />I have to admit something: I have never been to Chicago. Which means I have never had Chicago style pizza. I don't even actually know what it is. I've talked for minutes at a time about how much better the New York slice is than a Chicago Pie. "I MAY AS WELL EAT LASAGNA!" I've shouted in bars over Cock Sparrer songs blaring too loud from the soundsystem. But the truth is, I am just good at being a windbag and a blowhard. It's just like all the books I've never read and movies I've never seen that I find myself pretending I have because it seems easier than finding something else to talk about.<br /><br />Either way, I still KNOW New York pizza is better, even if I've never had the pie in Chi-Town. And that's why I almost didn't even go to <a href="http://www.blogger.com/maps.google.com/maps?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=big+al%27s+chicago+style+pizza+nyc&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=big+al%27s+chicago+style+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=0,0,9177149320176361441&amp;ei=AOrDTuWQC-WusAKC7cXNCw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=image&amp;ved=0CCUQ_BI">Big Al's Chicago Style Pizza</a> on Thames St right around the corner from OWS. Because I review New York slices and I figured they didn't have one. Because why would a regular New York pizza parlor go through all the effort of calling itself Big Al's Chicago Style Pizza if they were just gonna sell regular slices?<br /><br />Then the comments and emails started coming in. "What about Big Al's?" "When you gonna go to Big Al's" "I'M A COP YOU IDIOT" "Did you skip Big Al's?" And I called Big Al's and I said, "yeah, do you guys sell slices" and I could see the pizzaman's look of disgust and perplexion (I just made this word up!) as he said, "yeah...." but was clearly thinking "who is this moron?"<br /><br />So I went. And I'm glad I did.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6227/6350180281_819071ef5a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6227/6350180281_819071ef5a.jpg" width="298" />&nbsp;</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>Big Al's definitely gets the "Best Slice Near OWS" award, which is actually something a lot of people have been asking about. This slice has a thin but adequate crust, nice pungent cheese, ample grease and a pretty good sauce. The ratios are spot on. There is just enough salt. And in the words of Mr. Paul Lukas, "everything coheres nicely." This slice is A-Okay. Totally alright. Wildly above average. It was prepared well and I like that.<br /><br />At one point while we were sitting there, this worker accidentally jostled Paul while mopping up some spilled soda. He apologized, and Paul was like, "it's cool man, what's going on over there?"<br />And the guy is like, "This lady, she takes one sip of her soda and then just turns it over into the garbage bag. The worst part is, she was looking me right in the eyes when she did it. By the time I got around here with the mop it was running all over the floor."<br />"People are animals." I interjected. "I work at a diner in Brooklyn. We got this garbage can in the bathroom that has one of those foot pedals to open the top, and every day I clean up piles of sullied paper towels from the top of the lid. From people too lazy to press a fucking button with their foot."<br />"Animals..." the guy muttered, as he stepped away to continue mopping.<br /><br />Me and Paul talked a while and then parted ways, but as soon as I walked out the door I had to piss so bad I felt like I was gonna explode, but didn't remember seeing a bathroom in Big Al's. I went back inside, found the guy I'd been talking to, leaned over conspiratorially, "You got a bathroom in this place?" I murmured. He slipped me a key and pointed to a door, "take a left. First door on your right."<br /><br />I walked out into the corridor of an office tower and quickly found the bathroom. Now, as you know, my second favorite thing besides reviewing pizza is reviewing pizzeria bathrooms. Well this one was a gem!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6238/6350926110_91c0b23141.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6238/6350926110_91c0b23141.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><br />Easily the most claustrophobic restroom I have ever been inside. I felt like I was in a Kafka courthouse can in here! It's worlds away from the spacious and romantic two-seater at <a href="http://kaanla.com/2010/05/42nd-st-restaurant-its-tropical-fantasy.html">42nd Street Restaurant</a>, but equally charming, in it's own cramped way. Also, second to the Worcester, MA diner bathroom that was totally clean of graffiti except that someone had written VAN HALAN over two of the walls, this back wall, behind the toilet, vandalized with TOILETS! and an anarchy symbol may be my favorite bathroom graffiti.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><br /><br />Bathroom Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><br /> <br /> Big Al's Chicago Style Pizza - $2.50<br />9 Thames St (Trinity &amp; Broadway)<br />New York, NY 10006<br /><br />Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-75541685508049673982011-11-09T13:31:00.000-05:002011-11-09T13:31:11.047-05:00Pizza Italia: "This could've been better but it was pretty good." A while ago I ate pizza with this guy <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Paul_lukas">Paul Lukas</a>. Hopefully in a few months or years I can say, "my friend Paul Lukas," but for now we are just people who know each other and maybe there is reciprocal admiration, but maybe I just admire him and that's fine. Let me tell you about my future friend Paul. See, way back in the hinteryears of the mid-90s there used to be this store on E 7th St call See Hear and it only sold zines. And they would sell ANY zine ever. I bought my first issues of Cometbus and Punk Planet there (I bought my first issue of MRR at Tower Records, though). I looked at my first (and only) NAMBLA bulletin there at the ripe old age of 14. I was constantly befuddled by the black man who would come in and buy all the Neo-Nazi newspapers that were for sale. Later I almost got arrested right outside for drinking a 40 in the middle of the 7th St but the cop seemed more concerned with the fact that my handrolled cigarette might have been weed than with the fact that I was underage drinking in public. Go figure!<br /><br />Among the many zines I devoured as a teenager in the 90s, one of my consistent favorites was this zine called Beer Frame, which I never actually bought at See Hear and would buy at St. Marks Books, now that I think of it. I'm not sure why that is. ANYWAY. In Beer Frame, subtitled "The Journal of Inconspicuous Consumption," Paul set out to review any and every product available both domestically and internationally. From <i>Beverly Bulk Sausage With Natural Juices, 10.5 oz can</i> to the Brannock Device (that thing they use at shoe stores to measure you foot), Paul would review ANYTHING. And he did so with a degree of insight and stylistic panache that I still aspire to today. For over a decade, every time I've seen one of those weird tiny plastic tables they put in the middle of your pizza I've thought about Paul's thoughts about that object in an issue of Beer Frame.<br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;">That three-legged doohickey is called a <i>lid support</i>. It may not look like much, and it probably cost your pizzeria less than a penny, but it's saved many a pizza... from an unhappy fate. The lid support is so innocuous, and its functional utility so efficiently matter-of-fact, that it's become the perfect example of a product too simple for its own good: Everyone knows what it is but nobody outside the pizza biz knows what it's called, and most people just take it for granted. Hiding in plain sight, it has become classically inconspicuous--a stealth element in our consumer culture.&nbsp;</span><br /><br /><span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">He then goes on to provide a detailed and presumably accurate history of Lid Supports! What? If there's anything I pretty much indiscriminately love it's when people indulge their desire to be totally obsessive about something totally arbitrary and really go all out in executing it. See also, <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dishwasher_Pete">Dishwasher Pete</a>.</span></span><br /><br />I met Paul when we were both doing one minute interviews on 7 Second Delay's "60 Most Important New Yorkers in 60 Minutes" radio show. He is currently working on a ton of rad projects, but that day he was getting interviewed about <a href="http://www.uni-watch.com/">Uni-Watch</a>, his website about sports uniforms. (He also works for ESPN and like, writes cool shit all the time and is just generally a great dude.) We eventually re-met at the City Reliquary and I found out he did Beer Frame and I was really excited and asked him to come eat pizza with me, and he agreed. Then I texted his land line for like, 10 months before I figured out what was going on and we finally made plans and we met outside Pizza Italia on a blustery Autumn day.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6231/6329695106_a1a74f3302.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6231/6329695106_a1a74f3302.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6225/6328741929_c2fed03186.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=pizza+italia&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=pizza+italia&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=0,0,14968660510125230116&amp;ei=EsO6Ts3JKKGX0QGP2NXXCQ&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=image&amp;ved=0CBEQ_BI">Pizza Italia</a> is a real proper pizzeria, which is a rarity for the Financial District, which seems to be mostly full of places that are Investment Opportunities or Business Plans instead of Pizza Parlors or Restaurants. But Pizza Italia feels honest, and honesty is really important to me. When Paul and I got there, it was super slammed with the Soulless Business Dude Lunch Rush. It was totally chaos in there, but I noticed the pizzaman check on my slices a couple of times before handing them to me. Which is to say, he didn't just pull them out once they were hot, he made sure they were cooked well, and that's a degree of care and consideration under pressure that is rare these days.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6227/6328745065_50c754e569.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="239" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6227/6328745065_50c754e569.jpg" width="320" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">I know I usually share slices, but me and Paul were hungry and this place looked non-shitty.</td></tr></tbody></table>This slice had a good crunch and expert ratios, but the the cheese texture was a little mealy. And it felt cheap, which is a shame. If they hadn't cheaped out on the cheese, this slice would've been pretty amazing. They certainly gave it adequate care, there was a perfect amount of grease, and the crust and sauce were phenomenal! Paul said, "it's not like, world class, but it's a perfectly solid, legitimate slice." And I tend to agree with that assessment. But it WOULD be world class if they had better cheese! <br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><br /><br />Pizza Italia - $2.75<br />11 Stone St (Whitehall &amp; Bond)<br />New York, NY 10004<br />Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-19083126882196361692011-11-08T10:00:00.001-05:002011-11-08T10:00:20.004-05:00I been deep in the shit. But Slice Harvester is not dead! I have four more places to go in Manhattan and then I'm calling it quits, at least for the time being. Although there will certainly be a bit of Manhattan Wrap Up and perhaps a Final Four style showdown?<br /><br />Anyway, I got this email today from a long time reader wondering where I'd disappeared to which contained this passage:<br />"Last year I was on a plane from Singapore to NY--i started talking to this guy working in the backwaters of Malaysia. He was visiting NY for the first time and looking forward to getting Pizza. <br /><br />I asked him if he needed recommendations. He said, no, that he knew where to go because he'd been reading this blog from some guy who was eating at every pizza place--your blog. <br /><br />Really. "<br /><br />Also yesterday I hung out with Ben Trogdon who does NUTS! Magazine and we had some super inspiring conversations. It all reminded me that maybe I've been living my life of blood and flesh at the expense of my life of wires and words. Which is to say, I haven't been on the internet too much lately.<br /><br />So here's what's going to happen:<br /><br />I have two reviews ready for places I ate at with my friend Paul Lukas. I will post one of them tomorrow and the next one next Wednesday. In the meantime I will eat at the final two pizzerias in Manhattan I haven't eaten at, and I will post the reviews the subsequent two Wednesdays. After that we'll play it by ear.<br /><br />We are living in wild times. Everyone stay strong.<br />Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com11tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-48762540901331671412011-10-05T21:44:00.001-04:002011-10-05T21:44:49.584-04:00Georgio's: "Plastic surgery disasters." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6091/6215890582_1d9424de48.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="297" kca="true" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6091/6215890582_1d9424de48.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />By the time we arrived at <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&amp;oe=UTF-8&amp;rlz=1I7ADFA_en&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=georgio's+pizza&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=georgio's+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=5414554482879335182&amp;ei=ZuaMTo3pEoP10gGU_I20DA&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=placepage-link&amp;resnum=1&amp;ved=0CDQQ4gkwAA">Georgio's</a>, I think Jen Shag and I had run out of expectations, though we hadn't run out of hope. Upon walking into the establishment, we were confronted with the ambiance of a <a href="http://kaanla.com/search?q=cafe+amore">Cafe Amore</a> and the smell of a <a href="http://kaanla.com/search?q=pastafina">Pastafina</a>. In short, what little hope we had left was squandered. I'm not exactly sure how to best tie it together, but everything about this place seemed to be summed up in the 4000" flatscreen on the wall playing some "Deadly Bar Fight" reality courtroom show and the gaggle of lonesome fools watching it, slack-jawed and dead-eyed.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6232/6215378177_76ed876748.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" kca="true" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6232/6215378177_76ed876748.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />And if ever a piece of pizza could be described as "slack-jawed and dead-eyed," this is the slice. It vaguely approximates pizza in the way that weird overly tanned, overly plastic surgeried celebrities approximate humans, but a true New York slice it is not. The sauce tasted like the meatball sandwich in my Middle School cafeteria. Jen remarked that the cheese tasted like "they cooked the wrapper from the mozzarella onto the slice." There were distinct notes of burnt plastic and impending cancer. The crust had a shiny gloss to it, like the varnish on a hardwood floor or the paint job on a car. Everything about this slice was artificial. To be frank, it&nbsp;looked like <a href="http://sportscrab.com/wp-content/uploads/2010/06/carrot-top.jpg">Carrot Top's face</a>. In summation, Jen said, "they should be paying us $2.50 to eat this slice." I think I'd probably like to be paid more than that, but I'll take what I can get in these trying economic times.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><br /><br />Georgio's Pizzeria - $2.50<br />20 Beaver St (Broadway and Something Else)<br />New York, NY 10004Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com8tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-26546737928442517722011-09-27T19:53:00.000-04:002011-09-28T01:18:00.377-04:00Underground Pizza: "You believe in a pizza of crystal that can never be destroyed -- a pizza at which one will not be able to put out one's tongue or make a long nose on the sly." I AM A SICK MAN.... I am a spiteful man. I am an unattractive man. I believe my liver is diseased. However, I know nothing at all about my disease, and do not know for certain what ails me. I don't consult a doctor for it, and never have, though I have a respect for medicine and doctors. My liver is bad, well -- let it get worse! <br /><br />Some days ago I had the distinct misfortune of spending my afternoon repast attempting to nourish myself in a rather&nbsp;scurrilous establishment called <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps?hl=en&amp;rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&amp;rlz=1I7ADFA_en&amp;gs_upl=7363l9890l0l13057l13l3l0l0l0l0l1513l2137l2-1.1.8-1l3l0&amp;bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&amp;biw=1008&amp;bih=432&amp;wrapid=tlif131716001979210&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=%22underground+pizza%22+new+york,+ny&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=%22underground+pizza%22&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=0,0,15226055456737775650&amp;ei=X0SCTsmOGMfu0gGkhOSFAQ&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=image&amp;ved=0CAQQ_BI">Underground Pizza</a>. Forgive me for my indiscretion, gentlemen,&nbsp;but a pox upon the fools who created this hellish place and a pox upon their ancestors. <br />&nbsp; <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6166/6172401487_a5805062ff.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" kca="true" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6166/6172401487_a5805062ff.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>&nbsp; <br />Housed in a seemingly nondescript and innoffensive building on a seemingly&nbsp;nondescript and inoffensive block, this building and this block are both quite repugnant in fact, by virtue of their sheer banality. And the banality hides an odious truth: the food from this horrendously average establishment quite likely&nbsp;provides calories and energy to the most hideous of people, those who profiteer from misery and suffering: traders and brokers. <br />&nbsp; <br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6160/6172402699_3d60788a67.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" kca="true" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6160/6172402699_3d60788a67.jpg" width="298" /></a></div>&nbsp; <br />And surely their bodies have deteriorated in conjunction with their morals if this is the food upon which they eat. To call this food, why to call this slop&nbsp;"food" would be to call these parasitic&nbsp;ghouls "men"! As an exercise, walk to your rubbish heap, find a sullied sponge amongst the refuse, perhaps one with which you cleaned your toilet, and bite into it--this roughly approximates the experience of eating a slice at so-called Underground Pizza. As my close confidante Jennifer Shagawat said, "this place gives the underground a bad name." <br />&nbsp; <br />Rating: <br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><br /><br />Underground Pizza - $2.50<br />3 Hanover Sq<br />New York, NY 100014Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-446267928960982092011-09-14T03:47:00.003-04:002011-09-14T03:53:14.276-04:00Miami, Fl: Pizza Cubano Head2Head SHOWDOWN!!!! The review is dedicated to all my homegirls reading Slice Harvester at Miami Children's Hospital. Last month I spent a little under two weeks in Miami, Florida with Mi Ami, Cha Cha. We hung out with her mom and sisters in the morning, flexed on South Beach in the afternoon and went clubbing with Pitbull and Trick Daddy every night. It was a grand time of delightful gefilte fish breakfasts in the sand, midday wheatgrass smoothies on the boardwalk, fried chicken dinners delivered to fancy restaurants, and 30 hits of E for a midnight snack. Now I have a sweet tribal back piece, a twitch, and a few holes in my brain, but all in all I think I am better for the time spent.<br /><br />But despite the fact that I was on vacation, I still found time to work. You see, a few years ago when I was in Miami for the first time, friend to Slice Harvester and Miami native, <a href="http://www.croadcore.org/">Cristy Road</a>, enlightened me to the fact that her home city has an entire culinary sub-culture of Cuban pizza shops that serve Cuban Style Pizza!!! I am not usually into regional pizza variations, but I love Miami and I love Cuban food, so I thought that maybe it would be awesome. Also fuck it, I am totally into regional pizza variations. Who am I kidding?<br /><br />Anyway, my special lady friend's sister Dita suggested a couple of Cuban pizza places and Cha Cha, her mother, and I visited two of them. Earlier tonight when I was talking to Cha Cha about what to include in this review, she mentioned that her mother saved her soda cup as a keepsake from our day of Slice Harvesting! I tried to save all my stool the following day, for similar reasons, but those nazis in the TSA wouldn't let me bring that shit on the plane. (Har har).<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6169/6145953036_af8f4bea6d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6169/6145953036_af8f4bea6d.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Our first stop was <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?hl=en&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;hs=U5z&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;gs_upl=6434l6770l0l6972l4l3l0l0l0l0l140l325l1.2l3l0&amp;bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&amp;biw=1054&amp;bih=599&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=montes+de+oca+coral+gables,+fl&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=montes+de+oca&amp;hnear=0x88d9b78e141efa21:0x511093dc4495a9d6,Coral+Gables,+FL&amp;cid=1049443650379893617">Montes De Oca</a>, on SW 8th St and SW 52nd Ct. This place is really awesome! It is half indoor and half outdoor, like many things in Miami. The outdoor portion has cool stone seating, and the indoor portion feels warm and inviting like a good diner. Everybody that works at Montes De Oca is really nice. They don't really speak any English, and my Spanish was horrible, and Cha Cha who sprechen zie Spanish was outside smoking when I tried to order, so there was a lot of gesturing and hand waving and making up words. Ultimately it took a total of three waitresses to get an order out of me, which is totally shameful. I vow to learn Spanish better from here on out!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6205/6145404539_bf3c767cea.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6205/6145404539_bf3c767cea.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6071/6145956923_85a247f8f0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><br /></a></div>There were like, a ton of different kinds of pizza available on the menu, and I ultimately decided on the Pizza Mixta, which had like a thousand things on it--ham, pepperoni, picadillo, mushroom, onion, pepper, cheese and tomato sauce.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6089/6145405953_2e76cfbd65.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6089/6145405953_2e76cfbd65.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6180/6145957096_a7fd419187.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6180/6145957096_a7fd419187.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Now, the first thing I noticed about this pizza was that the "toppings" were not on top! That's one of the things that seems to distinguish Cuban pizza from regular pizza. They put the toppings under the cheese. It is perhaps less visually tantalizing, but far more effective in terms of being able to eat the thing without it falling to bits. Like, sometime about halfway through my childhood, I noticed that when my mother prepared her bagel and lox, she would put the cream cheese down, then the cucumber, tomato and onion, and then finally put the lox on top. I always thought she was doing things totally backwards, because I put my vegetables on top of my smoked salmon, because they clearly looked better there! But then I realized, and by "I realized" I mean "she pointed out to me," that my bagel would fall all over the place all the time and hers remained neatly in place.<br /><br />Anyway, this pizza was AWESOME. Another characteristic of the cuban pizza, at least the personal size, (as opposed to the family size, which is what they call a regular pie) is that it comes on a thick, soft crust, a lot like I remember Boboli being. It didn't even occur to me when I was there, but I am starting to wonder if the bigger pie has a thinner dough! I guess I'll find out in a few months when I am in Miami again. ANYWAY, this pie was like the most awesome Boboli pizza your mom ever made you while you were stoned and she didn't know it. Totally rules! Cha Cha's mom said this pizza was "rustic and delicious."<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><br /><br />Montes De Oca - Pizza Mixta - $7.95<br /><span class="pp-headline-item pp-headline-address" dir="ltr">5241 SW 8th St (at SW 52nd Ct)</span><br /><span class="pp-headline-item pp-headline-address" dir="ltr">Coral Gables, FL 33134</span> <br /><br />Our next stop, <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?hl=en&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;hs=o5z&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;gs_upl=5274l10338l1l11036l30l25l6l0l0l2l233l3106l3.17.2l22l0&amp;bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&amp;biw=1054&amp;bih=599&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=rey%27s+pizza+sw+8th+miami&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=rey%27s+pizza+sw+8th&amp;hnear=0x88d9b0a20ec8c111:0xff96f271ddad4f65,Miami,+FL&amp;cid=5112933573617975216&amp;ei=yAVwTuTKM8fJ0AGglK34CQ&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=map-marker-link&amp;resnum=4&amp;ved=0CDMQrwswAw">Rey's Pizza</a>, was about 10 blocks West on SW 8th. Doing some amateur internet sleuthing, I learned that Rey's Pizza was, allegedly, the first ever Cuban Pizzeria, founded by two best friends. They had a falling out some time in the 80s or 90s (I don't remember! WHO CARES?!) and then the one dude split and opened Montes De Oca! There is nothing I love more than a good falling out. (Maybe a good blood feud?) And so I was slash am totally excited about participating and perhaps exacerbating this feud by eventually liking one of these places more than the other!!!!! OMG!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6063/6145408545_21d022dcb6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6063/6145408545_21d022dcb6.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br />Rey's Pizza is shaped like a castle, which is awesome. I love most non-White Castle castle-shaped businesses. I wish I could go back in time and add that to the interests in my livejournal profile. <i>"...cutting onions with a serrated knife, non-White Castle castle-shaped businesses, Wu-Tang grammatical errors..."</i> It would've fit so well. I tried to take a picture of Rey's Pizza from the front, but walking in front of cars with an air of authority and snapping a quick picture of a business seems like it might get me murdered in Miami as opposed to just honked at like it does here in New York.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6079/6145409797_77d1a7ae35.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6079/6145409797_77d1a7ae35.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Rey's Pizza has an awesome costume mascot.</td></tr></tbody></table><br />Rey's Pizza has no outdoor area, and the inside was brightly lit like a fast food joint. If any of my Miami readers want to write a scene report from Rey's Pizza at like 3am on a Saturday, I'd love to print it. This place seems like it would be totally awesome in the middle of the night. I'm not sure if I prefer the warmth of Montes De Oca to this place, I think it's situational. Like, I think depending on the circumstance I'd prefer both equally. The employees at Rey's Pizza were really nice, too. And they have their own brand of Meatless Spaghetti Sauce for Multipurpose Italian Specialties!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6208/6145411057_18a99d064a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6208/6145411057_18a99d064a.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />There was a little bit of deliberation, but for the sake of continuity I decided to get a Pizza Mixta here as well. I had the unfortunate experience of watching them cook my pizza here. They assembled the pizza on a countertop and then placed it in one of those weird conveyer belt ovens you imagine them having in prison kitchens. It was a real serious bummer for me to watch, but I figured, when in Rome or whatever. Anyway, they gave me my pizza eventually and I ate it eventually.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6090/6145962194_9a5c1c05d6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6090/6145962194_9a5c1c05d6.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6185/6145963912_83166f1cef.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6185/6145963912_83166f1cef.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />This pizza was WAY more well done then the last one and Mom remarked that they were more stingy with the ingredients than Montes De Oca. Cha Cha's initial assessment of this pie was that it would be better, because she likes her pizza burnt to a crisp apparently! JK. This pie was nicely just nicely browned, but after the altogether pretty pleasant experience I had with the last one, I had a hunch that Cuban pizza was not as good when cooked as thoroughly as a New York slice. And I dare say, I was right!<br /><br />The crust was thinner and crunchier, but that didn't suit the style of pizza so well. The crust at Montes De Oca was thick and airy, and the cheese on top was viscous and warm without ever crisping. Generally all the flavors and textures of that pie were round and comforting. This pie, on the other hand was sharp and rough. And in general it just wasn't as good! I think even if it had been cooked "properly" (I don't even know if that's the word I am looking for), it wouldn't have been as good as Montes De Oca. If I were to describe this pie in two words, I would say "stingy and crisp," which pales in comparison to Mom's assessment of the last pie as "rustic and delicious." Ultimately, though, even if the other place was better, this was good food and I would eat it again!<br /><br />Rating:<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><br /><br />Rey's Pizza - Pizza Mixta - $7.95<br /><span class="pp-headline-item pp-headline-address" dir="ltr">6340 SW 8th St (SW 63rd &amp; 64th Aves)</span><br /><span class="pp-headline-item pp-headline-address" dir="ltr">West Miami, FL 33144</span>Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-43800312909927794352011-09-09T00:12:00.002-04:002011-09-09T00:13:00.626-04:00Cucina Bene Pizzeria: "Good kitchen? Bad pizza." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6195/6129252294_0c05d21a0f.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6195/6129252294_0c05d21a0f.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><a href="http://www.blogger.com/goog_1147915571"><br /></a><br /><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=cucina+bene+pizza&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=cucina+bene+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=2148608513186980261&amp;ei=1Y5pTs-AFdKtgQfP6dWFBg&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=map-marker-link&amp;resnum=2&amp;ved=0CCIQrwswAQ">Cucina Bene Pizzeria</a>'s slice was just as bad, if not worse than <a href="http://kaanla.com/2011/09/grotto-pizzeria-restaurant-it-cant-rain.html">Grotto</a>, but the place lacked any of Grotto's weird, maniac charm. It was totally bland. Just a big room, painted horrible colors (bright blue/bright yellow), with a GIANT flatscreen. Like the giantest television I have ever seen. Imagine the most ostentatious Miami drug dealer you can think of and then think about how big his imaginary TV is and then like, times that by eleventy thousand. Because seriously, this thing was fucking SO BIG.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6076/6128703337_7e3e600ee0.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6076/6128703337_7e3e600ee0.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />This slice also tasted like a battery. Jen thinks they must use the same distributor as Grotto. Whatever it is, this pizza gave me the same <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ayez1cBisU#t=6m41s">acid burn</a> in the back of my throat. This slice was also too thin and totally insubstantial and I felt like I had been ripped off. The crust was totally stingy and what there was of it stunk. BOOOOO! Get off my phone!<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><br /><br />Cucina Bene Pizzera - $2.50<br /><div><span dir="ltr">41 Exchange Pl (Broad &amp; William)</span></div><div><span dir="ltr">New York, NY 10005</span></div>Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-39655680126680030542011-09-07T06:38:00.001-04:002011-09-08T14:14:23.776-04:00Grotto Pizzeria & Restaurant: "It can't rain all the time." Oy vey! Yesterday was such a rainy day, and it is supposed to keep being a rainy day for the next FOREVER. <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4A5M6dcET_8">I wish the rain would stop just once</a>. I woke up at a reasonable hour and took the train into the city with my girlfriend Cha-Cha so I could drop her off at her tango lesson at noon. I had nothing to do for an hour and a half, because at 1:30 I had plans to meet up with my friend Jennifer Shagawat, who runs that awesome <a href="http://www.starcleaner.com/">Starcleaner Records</a> and is also one half of the band <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PHu86Xft6Qg">Shellshag</a>. The thing about Shellshag is that they are like, the most hardworking band on Earth, and also the most fun band in the Universe. I don't remember the first time I saw Shellshag, and I couldn't even count how many times I've seen them since then. I am just constantly impressed by all kinds of stuff about them:<br /><b>S</b>ongs are awesome<br /><b>H</b>ella good hair on both of them.<br /><b>E</b>xcellent attitudes.<br /><b>L</b>ive show, ta die faw.<br /><b>L</b><i>ordamercy</i>!<br /><b>S</b> is for smoking weed.<br /><b>H</b>ard times? Shellshag will help you through them.<br /><b>A</b>pple orange grapefruit tangerine. <br /><b>G</b>roovin' hard, lookin' sharp, kickin' butt, SUMMAH.<br /><br />So yeah, I originally drafted that list in glitter glue on a neon poster board, but I don't have a scanner big enough to scan it. (I don't have any scanner at all.) ANYWAY! I started writing this at work after eating pizza, BUT THEN it was busy at the diner and I drank too much coffee so I could multitask but it was still too busy to stop and write AND THEN after work I was gonna do it but I got home and me and Kevin hung out and I cleaned under my bed because I was super wired from the coffee AND THEN I was like, "I'll go to bed at a reasonable hour and I'll do it in the morning" BUT THEN I decided to watch the X-Files before bed and you know what they say about the X-Files "once you pop the fun don't stop" AND NOW it's like, almost 7am and I have been up all night watching the X-Files. OOPS! Anyway, here is a Slice Harvester now. And I am losing my mind.<br /><br />So yeah, I met Jen way down on Broadway after walking a great distance in the rain. I was soaking wet and hungry and really excited because I had scoped out our first pizza place and it looked CRAZY!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6069/6121950280_e163116caf.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6069/6121950280_e163116caf.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />WHAT?! <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=grotto+restaurant+and+pizzeria&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=grotto+restaurant+and+pizzeria&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=12492945220239671480">The Grotto</a> is like, not a pizza place from real life. This is a pizza place from Who Framed Roger Rabbit?. The front door just leads to a really claustrophobic staircase and then that just runs into an unnecessary seeming door that opens awkwardly and then you are in this weird basement space with the lowest ceilings ever and there everything is really bright colors and there are no windows and the people are all weirdos. AKA my dream come true.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6198/6121411777_538347a235.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6198/6121411777_538347a235.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />Even though the environment was super cool this slice sucked and it tasted like I was eating a battery. The cheese was fine, and the dough was okay quality but spread so thin I ate the whole slice in like half a bite. And the sauce was the nastiest. Seriously, have you ever a eaten a battery? I haven't, but I imagine eating a battery would taste like this slice tastes.<br /><br /><br />Rating: <br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><br /><br />Grotto Pizzeria &amp; Restaurant - $2.50<br />69 New St (Exchange &amp; Beaver)<br />New York, NY 10004Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-44612156521352756082011-09-01T11:52:00.000-04:002011-09-01T11:52:09.487-04:00Picasso Pizza: "I hope the owner didn't cut off his ear! Get it? Cause Picasso cut off his ear." I have this really bad habit of still calling my friend <a href="http://magicmuscle.wordpress.com/">Andy Folk</a> by his old name, Young Punk Andy, a name he never chose, and a name that is no longer particularly apt because Andy is no longer so young. This totally funny thing happened where, when I met Andy he was like, a spritely young 18 year old and I was clocking in at an old, haggard, world-weary 23. That is a huge difference in age! I was like, way older than him. But now that he is 25 and I am 50, or whatever fucking ages we both actually are, he is only a little bit younger than me instead of a lot! This is that phenomenon where my kid sister and my friend Cory were born the same year, but Cory is the same age as me and my sister is younger than me. Even though when me and Cory met I was definitely older than him. And I used to be much older than my sister than I am now, even though we're the same number of years apart. LISTEN IDIOT YOU EITHER KNOW WHAT I'M TALKING ABOUT OR YOU DON'T AND IF YOU DON'T YOU'RE THE STUPID ONE, NOT ME. Anyway, Andy. Cool guy. You should read his zines. They are available from the Book Thugs and I'm sure you can mailorder them right from him if you want.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6083/6103322222_08720e6543.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6083/6103322222_08720e6543.jpg" width="298" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Leslie Nielson? Howard Dean?</td></tr> </tbody></table><br /><a href="http://www.picassopizzany.com/Welcome.tpl">Picasso Pizza</a>. I forgot to take a picture of the front of it, because I am a jackass, but the front is incredibly unremarkable. Here is a picture of it from some other website:<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody> <tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://pics3.city-data.com/businesses/p/1/6/3/9/7201639.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="240" src="http://pics3.city-data.com/businesses/p/1/6/3/9/7201639.JPG" width="320" /></a></td></tr> <tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">The front of the pizzeria is hiding behind that tree. Thank you infoUSA for your great photography.</td></tr> </tbody></table>I got so lost coming to this place! That's mostly because I forgot the address and went to the wrong street, but also because it's really hard to bike to. That's the truth!<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6188/6103324266_31f3e9db94.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6188/6103324266_31f3e9db94.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />This slice was pretty good! The slice a whole had, what Andy characterized as "good integration." The sauce was on the wetter side, but was totally not sloppy and kind of ruled, although it could've been a little more flavorful or tangy. The dough had too much visible cornmeal, which put me off, but I didn't actually notice it while eating the slice, and it was definitely crispy and firm enough. The cheese was of a totally decent quality and was cooked to an absolutely respectable viscosity! This is what Andy was getting at with his "good integration" comment. The slight wetness of the sauce and the perfect viscosity of the cheese combined expertly and sat on top of the crust without making it soggy. It missed that special zest, and wasn't especially mindblowing, but for real, this slice was pretty alright! I would eat here again, unlike most pizzerias in New York City.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><br /><br />Picasso Pizza - $2.70<br />303 South End Ave (Albany &amp; Liberty)<br />New York, NY 10280Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-22114557060826231872011-08-18T23:45:00.000-04:002011-08-18T23:45:30.927-04:00HEY EVERYONE I'M NOT DEAD! Thanks for everyone who sent me emails asking if I was still alive (frequent poster Thomas Traveler and my mother, who knew I was alive, but texted me "hey boychik, are you ever going to update your website again?!"). I am. Sorry for the lack of updates. I decided to take a summer vacation. Right now I am in Miami and I will be home at the end of the month, at which point I will resume regular updates and finish Manhattan! Perhaps while I'm here I'll throw together a semi-comprehensive survey of Cuban Pizzerias here in town. For now I am in linen pants and a silk shirt, hanging out on South Beach, chain smoking 305s and scraping advils with a razorblade so I can sell them as ecstacy outside Cameo.<br /><br />Sorry to keep you all so uninformed. It was never my intention and I hope you can forgive me. For now, here are some home videos of me and my life partner Cha Cha hanging out on vacation:<br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="400" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/TEcjUrMWxNM" width="400"></iframe><br /><iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="400" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/6_7XYCka8NQ" width="400"></iframe><br />So yeah, I'll be back in the beginning of September. If you want me to get you Trick Daddy's autograph or anything, I probably won't because I don't want to bother him for stupid shit like that, but I'll tell him you said hi.Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-20449232187129305992011-07-30T22:59:00.000-04:002011-07-30T22:59:09.563-04:00Steve's Pizza: "Boston style pizza." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6008/5982576326_c883197a65.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6008/5982576326_c883197a65.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?client=safari&amp;rls=en&amp;oe=UTF-8&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=steve's+pizza+nyc&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=steve's+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=3061084901241080641">Steve's Pizza</a>&nbsp;is a horrid and sad place, however, everyone in there seemed happy despite that fact. There is a huge banner on the outside of Steve's, which is attached to a place called Charly's, which sells "Burgers Philly Steaks Burritos Grilled Chicken," proclaiming that they serve "The Finest NYC Pizza" or something like that. It's places like this that give the banner outside <a href="http://kaanla.com/2010/07/ny-pizza-suprema-sometimes-greatest.html">Pizza Suprema</a>&nbsp;a negative connotation. Because the pizza here, it totally blows! They had a pretty cool statue of an ugly pizzaman, though.<br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: auto;"><br /></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6148/5982015899_6827b06f68.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6148/5982015899_6827b06f68.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />After getting our slice, we looked around for some seating until we realized that if we walked through Charly's, there was a staircase, and it led to another floor, full of cafeteria style seating. I actually helped some Midwestern Cornbread Dad carry his baby stroller up the steps while his other 40 kids ran in circles around his ankles. When we got upstairs it was more of the same. Cornbread Tourist Families just slobbing pizza down their throats before they wait in line to look at the Ground Zero Rubble so they can tear up while they hum the Star Spangled Banner and their kids swat flies and have no idea what the significance of that moment is because they weren't even born yet in 2001. I don't even know where I'm going with this.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6007/5982580484_a11ce45b07.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6007/5982580484_a11ce45b07.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />This slice was the biggest piece of garbage. It's like gas station/roller rink/bowling alley/birthday party pizza, but it's missing any of the sentimental umph. There was just nothing going for it. Ross, who is a Boston native, called this slice "Boston style pizza." For those that don't know, Boston is famous for it's Greek Pizza, which is famous for being brittle and having poorly spiced sauce, both of which were exhibited in this slice. Ross said, "Greeks have contributed a lot of things to modern society. Pizza is not one of them." This slice was a fucking bummer. Whatever, just don't go here.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-bottom-style: solid; border-bottom-width: 1px; border-left-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-left-style: solid; border-left-width: 1px; border-right-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-right-style: solid; border-right-width: 1px; border-top-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-top-style: solid; border-top-width: 1px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></span><br />Steve's Pizza - $2.50<br />110 Cedar St (at Trinity)<br />New York, NY 10006Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-39255118941664126532011-07-23T00:52:00.000-04:002011-07-23T00:52:20.348-04:00Pronto Pizza: "I don't wanna waaaaste myyyyy tiiiiiime become another casualty of society." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6134/5966108658_05459563c6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6134/5966108658_05459563c6.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br /><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=pronto+pizza&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=pronto+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=17300181682144955256&amp;ei=XUkqTqqrMMjEgQf4gYmVCw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=placepage-link&amp;resnum=5&amp;ved=0CFMQ4gkwBA">Pronto Pizza</a>. This place is the pits. This whole chain is the pits! Or, I don't know, maybe they're not related, maybe there is just a coincidental thing where all the owners of shitty pizzerias are inspired by the Great Pizzaola to name their stores <a href="http://kaanla.com/search?q=pronto">Pronto Pizza</a> as a benevolent act on her part, to warn the true believers of the world that they should stay away.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6001/5966109482_68b2ae7423.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6001/5966109482_68b2ae7423.jpg" width="298" />&nbsp;</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>The slice they sell here is about the thickness of a piece of chewing gum and "tastes like a punishment," according to Ross, who had even more to say. "This pizza is making a mockery out of something I love. It's like Good Charlotte or Sum 41." When we finally got to the crust, which rose up from the meager base of the slice, Ross commented, "the inequity of thickness of the slice to the crust provides an apt metaphor for the distribution of wealth in America." Way to go, Ross! I love that shit.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><br /><br />Pronto Pizza - $3.00<br />114 Liberty St (Trinity &amp; Greenwich)<br />New York, NY 10006Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-26621557976071575552011-07-20T12:55:00.000-04:002011-07-20T12:55:38.836-04:00More Pizza Reviews Forthcoming. For Now Events and Press and Friends Doing Cool Stuff! <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-E7YeP-5_aRU/TicAoGXoBBI/AAAAAAAAAK8/5lRla_S-ly0/s1600/Kurt-Cobain-4.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="227" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-E7YeP-5_aRU/TicAoGXoBBI/AAAAAAAAAK8/5lRla_S-ly0/s320/Kurt-Cobain-4.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />1. I am having another pizza party at <a href="http://www.google.com/url?sa=t&amp;source=web&amp;cd=1&amp;ved=0CB4QFjAA&amp;url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.cityreliquary.org%2F&amp;rct=j&amp;q=the%20city%20reliquary&amp;ei=YgAnTrzkLMTV0QGNpPTTCg&amp;usg=AFQjCNF3gEcdyZZtvTroecoxfy2fLhBABQ&amp;sig2=IB-8q6dEmki8vNknfZJ84A&amp;cad=rja">The City Reliquary</a>! This time, to celebrate the release of Issue 5 of Slice Harvester Quarterly! This issue covers all the pizza from 23rd to 42nd, has the top quality illustrations you've come to expect from Brooklyn's own <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/MARVIN-BERRY-AND-THE-NEW-SOUND/112716315434850">Joe Porter</a>, and features a back cover by talented Brooklyn native cum Oakland raider <a href="http://mamalied.blogspot.com/">Aminah Slor</a>! I have been neck deep in zine hell for days now and this issue promises to be THE BOMB.<br /><br />Event details:<br />8-10pm, this Saturday, July 23rd, at the City Reliquary Museum (370 Metropolitan Ave, BK, NY)<br />Featuring:<br />Reading by Me!<br />Beers from Brooklyn Brewery!<br />Pizza from I don't know where, but hopefully it's <a href="http://www.grandmarosespizzabrooklyn.com/">Grandma Rose's</a> and <a href="http://best.piz.za.com/">Best Pizza</a> again because both of those places are awesome!<br />I am hoping my grandfather will be there, so bring your grandfather!<br />In fact, I will give a free set of every issue of Slice Harvester Quarterly that's out so far to anyone who shows up with a Grandparent. It doesn't matter if it's your grandparent. If you know someone who has grandchildren or is just generally grandparent age, bring them and I will give you free stuff!<br /><br />Do me a favor and <a href="http://www.facebook.com/event.php?eid=150014731741660">RSVP on Facebook</a>. Do it even if you aren't coming because it makes me feel good to check that thing and see a ton of people on there. <br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pQSnmcPj9Ew/TicC9N8ZSsI/AAAAAAAAALA/rCHTYt33KFM/s1600/art22661nar.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="210" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-pQSnmcPj9Ew/TicC9N8ZSsI/AAAAAAAAALA/rCHTYt33KFM/s320/art22661nar.jpg" width="320" /></a></div><br />2. It seems I have been profiled in <a href="http://www.nypress.com/article-22661-slicing-through-ny.html">New York Press</a>! Read the article! It is really nice. Check out <a href="http://jonreiss.tumblr.com/">other stuff</a> the author Jon Reiss wrote because he seems to be a pretty good writer and he is also a total sweetheart and when I met him he looked like a young George Tabb, who also wrote for the New York Press, but he hasn't looked like that again any time I've seen him since, so he's also a shapeshifter or something!<br /><br /><object height="300" width="400"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/qL-t3tRSUg0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/qL-t3tRSUg0&hl=en_US&feature=player_embedded&version=3" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="400" height="300"></embed></object><br /><br />3. And finally! My good friend and Slice Harvester's #1 most frequent Pizza Adventurer, <a href="http://www.carolinepaquita.com/">Caroline Paquita</a>, is starting an Independent Publishing Venture called <a href="http://www.pegacornpress.blogspot.com/">Pegacorn Press</a>! This is very exciting news, because Caroline is not just a talented artist, she is also an incredibly diligent worker, unflinching in the face of adversity, and if she sets her mind to something, she will make it happen.<br /><br />She is currently involved in some internet fundraising, so if you've got five bucks to spare, go over to <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/pegacornpress?a=200714&amp;i=addr">IndieGoGo</a> and email homegirl some money! Everyone who donates gets a present in the mail! If you can't spare five bucks, you can at least <a href="http://www.facebook.com/pages/Pegacorn-Press/222463054462037">"like"</a> her project on Facebook and then tell everyone you know to donate and you can just pretend you are one of the anonymous donors, and no one will know and the only real tangible repercussion will be a lingering feeling of disappointment in yourself that you will carry with you your whole life for not forking over FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS for something awesome.Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-2722518457863559202011-07-15T15:35:00.001-04:002011-07-15T15:35:55.530-04:00Majestic Pizza & Calzone: "Don't judge a book by it's cover." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6028/5940799500_00aebd8917.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6028/5940799500_00aebd8917.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=majestic+pizza&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=majestic+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=7906113588305261500&amp;ei=locgTvWVJIvegQe6konkBQ&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=placepage-link&amp;resnum=2&amp;ved=0CCgQ4gkwAQ">Majestic Pizza &amp; Calzone</a> is like, the best looking pizza shop anywhere near here. It seriously has the most picturesque awning I've ever seen and the inside has like, the perfect amount of wear and tear. Like well worn jeans. The even sheen of grease staining the price board a perfect yellow looks great without looking decrepit or untended. Seriously, seems to live permanently in that few month grace period where your jeans are the softest and fit the best, but before you blow out the crotch a million times from your bike seat. The place looks loved and cared for! I am inherently distrustful of sterile and pristine things. I am also distrustful of "distressed denim" and all the distressed denim aesthetic elsewhere in the world, which is partially about me being fussy about authenticity, which I am sort of unnerved by because I think desire for authenticity can be really damaging! Didn't Theodor Adorno say something about "the quest for authenticity is the death of many revolutionary movements" or something? Am I making this up?<br /><br />I don't really know where I'm going with all this. Not enough coffee yet, today. Maybe I'll touch on some of this stuff later on, but I can't imagine anyone actually cares about what I think. Back to Majestic Pizza, while this place looked really good, it FELT horrible in the heat. The doors were open and there were like, the saddest two ceiling fans drawing out the slowest circles above our heads. As I was handed my slice, I wiped the sweat from my forehead for the millionth time in the five minutes I'd been inside and Ross said "it feels like a fucking opium den in here!"<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6026/5940244185_1c381fd52c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6026/5940244185_1c381fd52c.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />This slice, while it wasn't bad, was not the mind-boggling, perfect piece of pie I was expecting. It definitely wasn't BAD, though. But <a href="http://kaanla.com/2011/07/its-pizza-dont-just-book-by-its-cover.html">It's a Pizza</a> a few doors down may have a better slice? Judging from the fronts of the places, Majestic should be blowing that ugly duckling outta the water. But this slice, while it had good ratios and quality ingredients, wasn't cooked so well and was, to be honest, a little bland. Maybe I was expecting too much, but I felt totally let down.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><br /><br />Majestic Pizza &amp; Calzone - $2.50<br />8 Cortlandt St (Broadway &amp; Trinity)<br />New York, NY 10007Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-42501419595541500402011-07-13T15:49:00.003-04:002011-07-13T15:58:17.883-04:00It's a Pizza: "Don't judge a book by it's cover." Last week I ate pizza with my friend Ross Noyes. Ross is a punk kid from Boston, and when I had first met him many years ago, I thought his last name was like, "Noise" or "Noize" or something and it was an unfortunate remnant of his teenage punk band. But it turns out his real actual last name is just a homophone. Who knew?<br /><br />One time Ross walked into the diner while I was working, on a moderately busy evening. I made eye contact with him, but didn't say anything because I had armloads of food and was bringing them to a table. When he shouted, "APPARENTLY I'M FUCKIN' INVISIBLE ALLOVASUDDEN!" a few seconds later, I thought he was talking to me and quickly rushed over to quiet him down. "Hey man, sorry, I see you there, I'm just busy." I blurted out.<br />He looked surprised and was like, "what? You thought I was talking to you? Come outside for a second, lemme show you something."<br /><br />We walked out front and he showed me his bike. One side of the handlebars was flush with the frame, like a two dimensional drawing, and the wheels were totally fucked. I looked at him shocked and he said, "I just got dragged under a truck for two blocks."<br /><br />I took him inside, gave him coffee and a whiskey, and asked how the hell he was still walking. He looked me in the eyes and said, "Cause I'm fuckin' Wolverine. I don't get hurt." When I saw him the next day, he was walking with a cane. Ross is a person who, while I don't necessarily think he's got everything figured out, I never worry about him making it in the world, because he seems like he can really take care of himself and he seems like he's at peace with who he is.<br /><br />A little while ago I started therapy for the first time in my life. It's been really helpful in learning and growing as a person, and in unpacking a lot of the baggage I've accrued in the time I've been alive. When I first started seeing the doc, there was a voice inside me telling me that it was a bourgeois extravagance, like it was weakness on my part that led to my needing therapy in the first place. I knew that was bullshit but I also couldn't shut the voice up. And oftentimes, it would come back to me and it would say, "look at Ross. He deals with his shit. Why can't you just deal with your shit?"<br /><br />One day I was waiting at the halal truck near my doctor's office for a chicken on pita, and Ross walked by. We noticed each other and the first thing out of his mouth was a surprised and amicable, "what the hell are you doing in this neighborhood?"<br /><br />For a split second I was frozen. Here was this guy standing in front of me who, in a lot of ways, seems to embody many of the of the more admirable qualities of American masculinity--strength, self-reliance, confidence--without replicating most of the bad ones. For a moment, I felt a sense of self-imposed shame about my need for help. But I knew that at heart, Ross wouldn't think any less of me for seeking out assistance, and more importantly, I knew that if he did, it was his problem, not mine. So with some trepidation that I'm sure went unnoticed, I said to him, "I'm just getting lunch on the way to see the shrink."<br /><br />Without a second thought, Ross looked at me and said, "I wish I was in therapy. Good for you." And suddenly all these illusions I was harboring about both of us were shattered. It's always interesting, and oftentimes potentially disastrous, when the image you've created for someone comes face to face with their actual humanity. This is why so many people are disappointed when they meet celebrities, for instance. But we don't just create personas for strangers, we create them for everyone in our lives. Our friends, our coworkers, our neighbors, our family. And people create them about us too. There's nothing wrong with it. I will never understand the entirety of another human being, so I have to surmise and imply what I can't know. But it's always heartening to realize that maybe you've oversimplified someone. That maybe there's a lot more to them than you let yourself believe.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6121/5934622688_92a8d82bc2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6121/5934622688_92a8d82bc2.jpg" width="298" />&nbsp;</a></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><br /></div>I was a few minutes early meeting Ross last week, and so I had plenty of time to stand around in front of <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=itsa+pizza&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=itsa+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=17295060000356532915&amp;ei=NfMdTqKoJsu30AHi5vnrBw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=map-marker-link&amp;resnum=4&amp;ved=0CDQQrwswAw">It's a Pizza</a> and ponder their hideous facade. I thought for sure I was looking at some heartless business endeavor, malevolent tumor of capitalism blighting the face of a city street. When Ross arrived, I nodded towards the awning and he said, "I am not looking forward to this."<br /><br />Inside the place was decorated horribly. There was fake brick on the walls, and an array of weird mirrors hanging "artistically." The chalkboard pricelist had those fake painted food pictures at the bottom that look like they're out of a terrifying comic book. But it was bustling as hell in there, it smelled good, and there was a pretty authentic looking (and sounding) pizza man behind the counter taking orders and yelling at customers.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6129/5934063031_00dc66bc0d.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6129/5934063031_00dc66bc0d.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />When our slice came out of the oven it looked pretty good. And it was good! The sauce was a little too sweet, and tasted more like the sauce on a chicken parm than on a slice, but there was just the right amount of it. The cheese was good quality and the dough was cooked to perfection. The crust, while skimpy, was absolutely delicious. Ross said, "If this place was in a different city, like Athens or Duluth or something, you'd be like, 'this pizza place fuckin' rules!' and there'd be only punks working here."<br /><br />And suddenly, eating this good slice, and looking back at the guy behind the counter, who by all signs looked to be some moderately shlubby New York native and not the "business savvy" Wall Street shark I assumed would own the places based on the exterior, everything took on a different connotation. The aesthetic qualities I found distasteful about the place at first suddenly seemed charming, like when someone makes a benign and well-intentioned bad decision. The fact that the place looked like it would totally suck and it didn't made it seem almost better than if it had looked cool. Because that would've been unremarkable. "This pizza place that looks like a pizza place is a pizza place and they sell pretty good pizza." But because the place looked like a miserable outpost of the Capitalist Death Culture, but turned out to be a decent pizza shop, there was something triumphant about the whole experience.<br /><br />I also noticed on <a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6141/5934061901_ddb65a8526.jpg">the sign out front</a> that they offer a 99ยข slice "happy hour" from 4-6pm. If the slice they serve then is the same as the one I ate, then this is clearly the best slice of pizza you can get for a dollar anywhere in the city.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" /><br /><br />It's a Pizza - $2.25<br />20 John St (Nassau &amp; Broadway)<br />New York, NY 10038Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-25228537256564974862011-07-11T17:31:00.002-04:002011-07-11T18:29:23.458-04:00Friendly Gourmet Pizza: "No part of the name of this place has any resemblance to actual real life." The other day I had the most post-internet experience I've ever had in my life. More post-internet than the handful of OKCupid dates I went on a few years ago (that's right, I'll own up to it)! I recently became aware of Internets Celebrities, a duo of native New Yorkers who make thought-provoking, oftentimes hilariously insightful videos about a variety of topics, most relating to New York City. <a href="http://internetscelebrities.com/a-fare-slice-i-c-nyc-episode-3/">Their most recent work</a>, ostensibly about the rumored correlation between the price of a slice and the price of a single subway fare, but actually a biting commentary on the lack of services provided by the MTA despite consistent price increases. Their succinct findings: "The MTA is essentially charging us $2.50 for a $1 slice."<br /><br />A week or two ago, <a href="http://www.ohword.com/">Rafi Kam</a>, one half of IC, twortled on twerter inviting strangers to meet him for lunch. I think I was the first and maybe only person to respond, and so a short few days later, we met up outside <a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=friendly+gourmet+pizza&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=friendly+gourmet+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=17157913613310566466">Friendly Gourmet Pizza</a> to get a slice. Two strangers, joined by one common trait: an abundance of time on the internet. Would we butt heads, would a fast and enduring friendship form? My mind was full of questions as I made my way down the stairs of my building to unlock my bike and head to Nassau Street.<br /><br />Sadly, when I got downstairs, someone had locked my brake cable into their u-lock! I was aghast and furious. In a hasty act of defiance, I took a permanent marker and wrote a note across their top tube that said "BE MORE CAREFUL NEXT TIME" and then got onto the J train, afraid that I might be late and miss out on meeting Rafi.<br /><br />On the train, the reality of my situation began to set in: I had just deliberately vandalized a bike that my bike was still locked to. Ergo, I would likely return to Brooklyn to find my bike vandalized. There was no question that the party responsible for my misfortune got off easy. Locking up someone else's bike is an amateur mistake, and sharpie washes off easy enough. But I had set myself up to be the recipient of easy vengeance, and I was none too pleased with my own rash and amateurish behavior.<br /><br /><table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody><tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6130/5926705240_ace718e332.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6130/5926705240_ace718e332.jpg" width="400" /></a></td></tr><tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">This picture was taken on a prior pizza mission, when I got to Friendly Gourmet too late and it was closing for the night.</td></tr></tbody></table>By the time I got to Friendly Gourmet, I looked a mess, and I was feeling like a total greasy weirdo. I was positive this stranger would see me for the loathsome shitbreather I am and would turn around in disgust at the very sight of me, but I held my ground and stood around outside the pizza parlor, which was tiny and cute, with a constantly moving line out the door. There was no seating to speak of, just a hastily assembled "countertop jutting out of the side of the building. As I waiting for Rafi, I was transfixed watching the flow of people moving in and out of the tiny storefront, the line out front ebbing and flowing like the tide. The place was cute as hell and they seemed to be running a pretty professional operation. I was getting excited to try the slice, and pretty soon all my concerns melted away. By the time Rafi strolled over I was cool as a cucumber and we stepped inside to get our slices.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6011/5926146675_5e28e74916.jpg" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://farm7.static.flickr.com/6011/5926146675_5e28e74916.jpg" width="239" />&nbsp;</a></div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">I got a plain slice and Rafi got a grandma slice (not pictured). Mine smelled good and looked like it could be anywhere from passably decent to absolutely great, but I knew it wouldn't be <i>bad</i>. This slice had too much sauce, but otherwise, it was totally good. The sauce taste was a little overwhelming, but I think in a more moderate quantity it could definitely be a more subtle component in the complex flavor of a good slice, as opposed to the edible equivalent your hamfisted, slightly drunk uncle who is nice when he's sober, but who, after his fifth beer, talks too loud about uncomfortable subjects on Thanksgiving. But even with the sauce acting like a dickhead, the quality of the rest of the slice shined through! The cheese, while nothing to write home about was actually decent. That shouldn't carry the weight that it does, but it seems that these days most pizza places are using pretty crummy ingredients. The dough was crunchy and maintained it's integrity. The crust was crunchy enough without being brittle, and salty enough, which is really all you can ask for.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Rafi didn't seem too awed by this piece of pizza, but he hasn't been in the trenches like I have. (No offense, dude!) Compared to most of the shit they are slinging in this town, this slice is incredible. I know I've said this a million times, but in my dreamworld Crimethinc Utopia ruled by a kindly wizard, a slice this good would be the worst pizza around. However, in our sick fucking society (SFS), where everything is so backwards that <a href="http://www.feministe.us/blog/archives/2011/07/07/notes-for-reporters-covering-rape-cases/">"progressive" media outlets discredit sexual assault survivors and support defense contractors</a>, and <a href="http://www.sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2011/07/08/BA9U1K7O2C.DTL">in Oakland the BART cops seem to kill someone every time there's a holiday</a>, there is obviously no justice or sanity, so most pizza sucks and this pizza, which is by all accounts totally good, just not great, stands out as a shining beacon of hope amidst the shit.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Fuck the world.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia,Times,serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; height: 37px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px; width: 30px;" /></span><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Friendly Gourmet Pizza - $2.50</div><div style="text-align: left;">59 Nassau St (at John)</div><div style="text-align: left;">New York, NY 10038<br /><br />Postscript:<br />I got so worked up being angry about the pervasive rape culture and systematic violent oppression in this country, I forgot to talk about what happened to my bike! Are you ready for this? Take a deep breath...<br /><br />Nothing. Nothing happened. My guess is that whoever was unobservant enough to lock my brake cables was also unobservant enough not to notice that I had written across their top tube in permanent marker! I was thinking on the bus ride home from my girlfriend's house that night that if I saw them, I would offer to wash off my graffito if they paid me the $9 I had to spend in public transit costs because my bike was stuck to a pole all day.<br /><br />Also, while I'm talking about the pervasive rape culture:<br />Attn: All Male-Bodied Dudes! Every time your cousin or your coworker or your best friend from high school or your neighbor who you are having a beer with on the stoop makes a rape joke and you don't say shit, YOU are personally responsible for creating a climate in which survivors are not taken seriously. Don't forget that.</div>Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-88501677273183079662011-07-06T18:59:00.001-04:002011-07-11T17:32:26.304-04:00Liberatos Pizza: "More than a feeling." <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5264/5884708931_41c0149a1c.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" m$="true" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5264/5884708931_41c0149a1c.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br /><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?rls=com.microsoft:en-us:IE-SearchBox&amp;oe=UTF-8&amp;rlz=1I7ADFA_en&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=liberatos+pizza+new+york&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=liberatos+pizza&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=2766503870559016485&amp;ei=-uIUTuL0EYitgQe-2ZD-BA&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=placepage-link&amp;resnum=3&amp;ved=0CDEQ4gkwAg">Liberatos Pizza</a> is on a weird street in a weird building. There are other restaurants on the block, but it seems like somewhere I wouldn't want to go to find food. The buildings are too tall and the street is too narrow. There's a pervasive Dickensian gloom. I wouldn't mind if my tailor or cobbler was on this block. Or if I was going to like, a meeting of the Hermetic Order. But it just doesn't seem like there should be food here.<br /><br />On the inside, the place is gigantic, and when I was there, empty. There were weird hair metal power ballads playing on the radio, it was super hot, and there were just WEIRD VIBES, MAN. Everything just felt awkward. Suddenly the three of us couldn't really make much of a conversation and everyone was just sort of looking around.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5039/5884709835_6b99893010.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" m$="true" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5039/5884709835_6b99893010.jpg" width="239" /></a></div><br />This slice was the only one we ate our whole day together that was adequately cooked and served hot enough. This circumstance created the illusion that the slice itself was better than all the previous slice, when in fact it was just <i>warmer</i>. The slice had too much cheese, and the dough and sauce made it taste like Stoeffer's. I would say that no one should really bother with this pizzera, but it's not TERRIBLE. Try the weird falafel place down the block that looks like it's from the Jetsons.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><br /><br />Liberatos Pizza - $2.75<br />17 Cedar St (Pearl &amp; William)<br />New York, NY 10038Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-38041420585412080162011-06-24T16:44:00.002-04:002011-07-06T18:57:42.518-04:00Anna Maria's Pizza: "BUT IT IS IN A MALL!" <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5068/5866268729_d9669f19a5.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="298" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5068/5866268729_d9669f19a5.jpg" width="400" /></a></div><br /><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?hl=en&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;hs=hLo&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&amp;biw=1076&amp;bih=607&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=pizza+on+the+pier+pier+17&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=pizza+on+the+pier+pier+17&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=10556501442745413497&amp;ei=4qkETtHGDMur0AHo2anXCw&amp;sa=X&amp;oi=local_result&amp;ct=placepage-link&amp;resnum=5&amp;ved=0CD0Q4gkwBA">Anna Maria's Pizza</a> is in the food court of the mall at Pier 17 in the South Street Seaport. It is the weirdest food court I have ever been to, and for some reason made me think of Union Station in DC with it's fake internationalism. The other food stalls all had these oddly generic names like "Little Tokyo," "China Max," "Simply Seafood," and a place just called "Philly Cheesesteak" which allegedly featured "Live Cooking." I guess it is good to know that my food is not being prepared by androids? I don't know, the whole place made me feel uneasy, and the slice was $4.<br /><br /><div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5304/5866269753_b0b1e59e9a.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="400" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5304/5866269753_b0b1e59e9a.jpg" width="298" /></a></div><br />This picture may not make it clear, but it was pretty big at least, considering the price. And it tasted more like real pizza than <a href="http://kaanla.com/2011/06/pizza-and-pasta-delight-double-your.html">Pizza &amp; Pasta Delight</a>, and was decent if unremarkable, at least at first. But as we progressed along, the slice became less and less palatable. The ratio of cheese to everything else grew incrementally as we ate, until the very end of the slice became a sloppy, overly cheesy mess. And it had that grease taste that reminds you of bad butter. (Remind me to start a pop punk band called Bad Butter.) Chuck and me were really harshing on this slice, but Matt, who believed that the slice simply hadn't been cooked long enough, took up its defense willingly and fervently. "It's not necessarily the piece of pizza's fault that whoever is working didn't cook it well," he practically shouted at us. "They cooked a good piece of pizza badly!" I think there's definitely more wrong with this slice than the fact that it wasn't cooked enough, but Matt might be on to something.<br /><br />Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><span class="Apple-style-span" style="font-family: Georgia, Times, serif; font-size: 12px; line-height: 18px;"><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S9dk5OAEMQI/AAAAAAAAAGU/7b1b8p3q3ws/s1600/half+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; height: 37px; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px; width: 30px;" /></span><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><br /><br />Anna Maria's Pizza - $4.05<br />Pier 17 (Peck Slip &amp; Dover, kinda)<br />New York, NY 10002Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-38708468147745474402011-06-23T13:27:00.002-04:002011-06-24T08:39:16.589-04:00Why I have chosen to discontinue distributing Slice Harvester Quarterly through Microcosm Publishing. This post may not seem especially relevant to folks who are not involved in punk or activist communities, but it does address larger-scale issues of dealing with abuse and holding abusers accountable in any community, and what role individuals play in making that accountability happen.<br /><br />Some years ago, Joe Biel, a co-founder of Microcosm, was publicly called out for being emotionally abusive in his relationship with his then-partner and Microcosm's other co-founder Alex Wrekk. He has also been called out as being manipulative in collective organizing with Microcosm. This whole time, the company maintained a degree of silence about this issue that I personally found totally odious and appalling.<br /><br />Some time in 2009 or '10, (you can read an accurate timeline at <a href="http://alexwrekk.wordpress.com/2010/07/29/so-whats-the-deal-with-you-and-microcosm/">Alex's website</a>), Joe began engaging in a mediation/accountability process initiated by <a href="http://doriszineblog.blogspot.com/">Cindy Crabb</a>, publisher of Doris Zine and general rad ally and friend. I had already read Alex's zine about the abuse via <a href="http://www.supportny.org/">Support New York</a>, and was heartened to hear that Microcosm was perhaps finally taking accountability. In January of this year, Microcosm released <a href="http://anarchistnews.org/?q=node/13086">a very problematic and disappointing statement</a>, which has been <a href="http://doriszineblog.blogspot.com/2011/01/i-wont-be-working-with-microcosm.html">critiqued by Cindy</a> far more succinctly than I feel capable of right now. In February, someone from Microcosm contacted me to order new zines and I wrote them the following email:<br /><blockquote><span style="font-size: x-small;">Hey J----,<br /><br />I don't think we know each other. I have had lengthy discussions with S---- in the past about some misgivings I've had about distributing through Microcosm, which she more or less helped me to quell, but those misgivings have been given new breath as of late.</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><br />Aside from doing Slice Harvester, my main project for many years has been doing perpetrator accountability work [with] Support New York (http://www.supportny.org) here in NYC. Much as I appreciate the income generated by, and reliability of, turning a bulk of my mail-order over to Microcosm, my allegiance lies first and foremost with my beliefs around those who perpetuate abuse and how they should be held accountable.</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><br />Before agreeing to distribute through Microcosm a year or so ago, I had a number of long and very involved conversations over the phone with S---- in which she assured me that Joe's process was making progress and that the collective was totally into keeping him accountable. In light of some recent updates from Cindy Crabb, I don't feel like I can continue to distribute Slice Harvester with you all in good conscience. Even though SH is totally separate and anonymous project and is absolutely distinct from my accountability work, my commitment is still to that work, and when I think about continuing any kind of relationship with Microcosm, I get a feeling in the pit of my stomach that I've learned to heed.</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><br />I wish Microcosm had been a little more transparent about acknowledging Joe's abusive behavior from the get go, and I really wish it seemed like you all were acknowledging it at all right now. I can't even find the public statement you guys made about Joe's behavior anywhere on the website. Is it available outside of anarchistnews.org, where I finally found it in google? It doesn't seem very transparent or accountable to leave something so crucial off the website.</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><br />Overall, I am really disheartened by all of this and as I said, I don't think I feel comfortable working with you guys any longer.</span> <span style="font-size: x-small;"><br /><br />love, Colin</span> </blockquote>No one at Microcosm bothered to respond. Earlier this week I was shown <a href="http://microcosmpublishing.com/blogifesto/2011/06/a-statement-from-the-microcosm-collective">their most recent public statement</a>, which was actually published on their website this time, at least. At the time I first saw this statement, there was a conversation going on in the comments section that seems to have disappeared now, but was luckily archived <a href="http://alexwrekk.wordpress.com/2011/06/21/hello-blog-hit-spike-thy-name-is-microcosmjoe-bielabusealex-wrekkboycott-or-any-combination-of-them/">here</a>. If the comments had still been open on that blog post, I probably would've written to Microcosm there instead of writing this public letter, but since they seem determined to close down any actual dialogue, I feel like I have no choice but to write something here.<br /><br />While I think that the new statement is far more heartening than the last, I still feel majorly let down by it's timing, it's vagueness, and the silencing of criticism Microcosm has engaged in by hiding the comments that were previously posted. At this point, Microcosm has a few copies of Slice Harvester Quarterly #2 left and when they sell out I don't think I'll be selling them any more any time soon. I would urge any other zine makers who consider themselves an ally to stop working with Microcosm until they get their shit together, and I would urge everyone else to hold off on ordering from them until they prove themselves to be willing to engage in actual accountability and dialogue.<br /><br />There are standards we must set in our community. Abuse and abusive behavior happen in this sick fucking society, there is no avoiding that. We are socialized to harm one another, and men in particular are socialized to be so disconnected from our emotions that the harm we cause is oftentimes inadvertent. However, it is each person's responsibility to be open and honest with themselves and the people in their lives and foster an environment where abuse accusations can be taken seriously, and both survivor and perpetrator can be given access to the healing they need. Microcosm's actions have done the exact opposite of that. They've given an abuser a shield to hide behind and perpetuate his shitty behavior while publicly seeming accountable, and that is untenable. Microcosm needs to get their shit together ASAP. This stuff is hard to navigate but they are majorly fucking up.Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-16901656131161314672011-06-22T13:47:00.002-04:002011-06-24T16:44:10.224-04:00Pizza and Pasta Delight: "Double your pleasure, double your chin." Last week I went and ate pizza with my close personal friend Chuck Van Dyke and my close personal acquaintance Matt Winn. Chuck is from Paris, TN, but mysteriously, Matt has a thicker Southern accent than him even though he grew up on Lawnguyland. He seems smart and reads a lot of thick books. I don't know him that well, so I'll just leave it at that.<br /><br />Chuck, though, I know that guy real good. I met Chuck many years ago playing a show at the Jerk House and he was so shy and mysterious that I decided I had to be his friend. He was living in Chattanooga at the time, but I hung out with him a couple of times when he was coming through on tour and then one day he came to stay at The Fort for like, two weeks or something. Some time in there I got called in last minute to record The John Candies tape, and I was over there in the bedroom that Good Kid Paulie was sharing with like, 40 people. I was trying to set up the four track and was having tons of trouble getting the drums sounding right. I went out in the living room where I saw Chuck sitting on the couch and was like, "hey man, will you listen to something for a second? I can't get these drums sounding right." And he was all, "nah, I gotta go, I'm late for work." "Work?! How long are you in town for?" "I dunno... I guess I moved here."<br /><br />At the time, Chuck had this goofy green hair and I think he maybe even had an earring and he definitely wore a sport strap on his glasses and he seemed so weird and I liked all the bands he had been in and so I was just like "I must best-friend this man." And then it was a total courtship. I took him for a bike ride to the museum and pretended that it was something I do all the time, and then we went to the record store and then ate tacos and drank beer at the water. I made him a Mixed Tape. Eventually I won him over and he became My Dawg and he still accepts me even though I'm not nearly as awesome as I seemed during those first few weeks of our burgeoning friendship. Also, he doesn't have the sport strap any more and his hair is not green, but now it looks like Johnny Ramone or like, Little Lord Fauntleroy or something and he always wears denim shirts, which is equally cool and weird. Anyway, this dude is a total winner.<br /><br /><div style="text-align: center;"><img height="299" src="http://farm6.static.flickr.com/5073/5859983675_69ec36be25.jpg" width="400" />&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;"><a href="http://maps.google.com/maps/place?oe=utf-8&amp;rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&amp;client=firefox-a&amp;um=1&amp;ie=UTF-8&amp;q=pizza+and+pasta+delight&amp;fb=1&amp;gl=us&amp;hq=pizza+and+pasta+delight&amp;hnear=0x89c24fa5d33f083b:0xc80b8f06e177fe62,New+York,+NY&amp;cid=13684911524932461899">Pizza &amp; Pasta Delight</a> is a weird dead zone. It's hidden away in this weird alcove where no one seems to go and the vibes inside are straight up mundane. Mad mundanity, son! The address of this place should be on Banal Street! Nyuck nyuck nyuck. For real though, one time I was in the car with my mother and I said "I used to always pronounce banal 'baynel' because it smells like anal." I was trying to say "it's spelled like anal" but I Freudian slipped on a big old pile of intellectual doodoo and landed flat on my ass. Not as bad as the time I called my mom after I read about the Sean Bell verdict in the Times and as soon as she answered I was like, "MA I AM SO FUCKING MAD RIGHT NOW I SWEAR TO GOD SOME DAYS YOU JUST WANT TO GO OUT AND MURDER ALL THE FUCKING PIGS IN THIS CITY..." and she was all, "Oh, you know, yeah, that's really great. You're actually on speaker phone because I am driving and your 200 year old conservative grandmother is sitting in the car next to me so now is probably not a good time. But I am sorry to hear you're feeling bad and we should talk about it later." Why am I even mentioning this? Because Pizza &amp; Pasta Delight was such a boring empty dead zone that I have nothing to say about it!<br /><br /></div><div style="text-align: center;"><img height="400" src="http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3086/5860537454_a1af782253.jpg" width="299" />&nbsp;</div><div style="text-align: center;"><br /><div style="text-align: left;">And much like the ambiance of P &amp; P Delight, the flavor of this pizza was nearly nonexistent. Matt called it "Ghost Pizza." Something about this whole place reminded me of that haunted train in Final Fantasy III, but sadly, that reference is probably lost on a bulk of my readership. Anyway, this pizza tasted like a piece of winterfresh that you've chewed all the flavor out of. You know how there's still like, a taste to old gum, but it tasted like NOTHING? This pizza is like that. And the texture was a nightmare. Matt said, "you don't even need your teeth to bite this pizza!" and Chuck was like, "yeah, it's like eating a piece of cake." I thought the crust sucked, but Matt seemed to find it inoffensive, at least, so there's that.</div><div style="text-align: left;"><br /></div><div style="text-align: left;">Rating:<br /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXt4wf8I/AAAAAAAAAF8/TQm-n2kjyLw/s1600/single+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-bottom: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-left: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-right: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; border-top: rgb(255,255,179) 1px solid; padding-bottom: 4px; padding-left: 4px; padding-right: 4px; padding-top: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /><img src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_s05nQImAMTA/S8UpXzUVQQI/AAAAAAAAAGE/UCpUJl56PoM/s1600/no+slice.jpg" style="border-color: rgb(255, 255, 179); border-style: solid; border-width: 1px; padding: 4px;" /></div></div><br />Pizza &amp; Pasta Delight - $2.55<br />77 Fulton St (Gold &amp; Cliff)<br />New York, NY 10038Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-367501077616987971.post-1921937765938710942011-06-21T00:49:00.002-04:002011-06-21T10:58:42.143-04:00A map of all the pizza. <iframe height="600px" scrolling="no" src="http://www.google.com/fusiontables/embedviz?viz=MAP&amp;q=select+col0%2C+col1%2C+col2%2C+col3%2C+col4%2C+col5%2C+col6%2C+col7+from+1029948+&amp;h=false&amp;lat=40.775341832372696&amp;lng=-73.96751403808594&amp;z=11&amp;t=1&amp;l=col3" width="400px"></iframe><br /><br />My mother complained to me yesterday that since she doesn't have a twitter or a facebook, she never sees any of the newspaper articles about me or the things that aren't pizza reviews, because I don't put that stuff on the blog anymore. So here you go, ma.<br /><br /><a href="http://www.djshaggy.com/">Jeff Manheimer</a> made this map for me. We are still working out some small details, but I was never one to keep things secret until they're finished, so here it is now. I'm almost finished with eating all the pizza in Manhattan; by the time I'm done I'll have been at it for two years. The truth is, lately I've been feeling a little sour about the whole thing, like it's not that important or not that meaningful.<br /><br />And it's neither of those things, but looking at all the information on this blog aggregated into points on a map makes me realize how monolithic it is. Whether or not it matters, I set out to do something HUGE and in a few weeks I'll have done it. And here is the proof. Thanks, Jeff.<br /><br />This map is easily accessible at any time of day via the "<a href="http://kaanla.com/p/map_20.html">The Map!</a>" button up there at the top of the page. At Slice Harvester we are working day and night to keep you knowledgeable about local pizza parlors. Don't forget that. I'm not doing this for me, I'm doing this for YOU.Slice Harvesterhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/18379817550845956364noreply@blogger.com6