is literally the shittiest pizzeria I've been to thus far. Excuse the easy joke, but seriously, take a look at that awning. There is a line between being unconcerned with convention regarding personal odor or clothing-dirtiness and being so filthy you get a butt rash and footrot and people are like, "Dude, come on! This isn't even about 'Fuck Society' anymore, this is about your own health!" I have lived on both sides of that line, and trust me, there is nothing punk about having a yeast infection on your taint. And much like scaly grundle-skin is not the whole of the problem, but symptomatic of the colony of Candida Yeast festering within, so too, Vinci's doodie-strewn awning hinted at greater ills lurking behind the doors.
Here are my notes on this stupid slice, verbatim:
• Weirdness. What's going on?
• I hate this pizza.
• I am so mad right now.
• "This slice is shittier than that awning." -Wes
Perhaps a reader can help me elucidate the following: there is a certain type of chicken slice that has been frequently dumpsterable for the past ten years, at least. From Woodlawn to Wall Street, Flatbush to Fluahing, I have found these slices wherever pizza is tossed away like rubbish. I imagine it so ubiquitously inhabits the trash because it is universally loathed yet cooked anyone. Someone lobbying for this pizza has pretty heavy influence, so I'm guessing it's part of a Freemason plot of some sort. Regardless of Masonic plotting, this pizza is characterized by a floppy consistency, orange color and a slightly vinegary flavor. Luckily they had a pie at Vinci's so here is a visual aid:
Whatever it's called, the plain slice at Vinci's had the same horrible flavor. Wes, who is a cook, said that it tasted like they accidentally poured the wrong spices into the sauce, but despite both of our well-trained tongues, we couldn't figure out what the hell the flavor was. No matter. The fact remains that Vinci's is a blemish on the face of the pizza community and if you want to remain proactive in maintaining our community's dignity, stay away!
Vinci's - $2.50
1122 1st Avenue
New York, NY 10065